Walking with good taste is always difficult, and when it comes to travel, it can be particularly treacherous. Who wants to offend an entire nation with a pair of sneakers?
Taste and etiquette expert Laura Windsor, who is advised Netflix on Regency-era social graces for Bridgertondespair at the way many of us travel now, saying we have become a nation fixated on bragging rights. “The elegant among us don’t have to prove anything to anyone,” she says. “And we certainly have no desire to keep up with the Joneses.”
Here, the self-styled Queen of Etiquette offers her verdict on the vacation habits that are truly first-rate — and some that are a one-way ticket to Naffville…
Mega resorts: Luxury bread or destination oaf?
Sprawling five-star resorts such as Dubai reinvented the humble flop-and-drop. They boast world-class restaurants, themed kids’ clubs and fancy spas. A Championship League footballer or Instagram star might be sitting poolside at Dom Perignon. Our expert blows at the mere mention. ‘These generic resorts think they know what you like, but so often they miss the point; they dilute traditions and culture – and then charge you a lot for the privilege.’ As for Dubai: ‘Go for work, nothing else!’
VERDICT: Funny.
Budget travel: Does low cost equal low rent?
The biggest misconception about what high class is is that you have to flash the cash, advises Laura Windsor. A full of character Airbnb or chic bed and breakfast will leave you far richer in experience than any identikit resort.’
EXCLUDE: Tasteful
Budget airlines: Easyjet or Emirates?
There is no shame in boarding a low-cost airline; the days of short-range glamor are long gone. So if easyJet brings you to your Spanish island idyll, well-oh.
EXCLUSIVE: Tasteful.
Private Charters: Crass or Class?
A Mediterranean yachting holiday doesn’t come cheap, but it will send the taste barometer soaring. ‘You’re in a small group – you have to be close friends – but you have extreme privacy, which feels very exclusive,’ says Windsor. And charter your own private jet? ‘If you have the money, why not? Just don’t brag about it on Instagram’.
EXCLUSIVE: Tasteful.
TikTok: Brimming with Tips or Trash?
‘Why would you put your hard-earned vacation in the hands of an influencer or Tripadvisor reviewer? You have no idea how these strangers view luxury. And style and elegance are completely subjective,’ says Windsor. “Word of mouth remains one of the best ways to get a luxury recommendation.”
PRONUNCIATION: Funny.
Holiday loungewear: casual chic or hideous attire?
“Brits abroad used to dress so elegantly,” winks our expert. Now, our love of loungewear and loungewear and, gasp, sneakers are, says Windsor, crimes against style. ‘You decide how people treat you by the way you dress. If you’re wearing trainers, hideous jogging pants, or hideous long pants when you enter a restaurant, people will treat you accordingly. Shirtless men should stay on the beach, or better yet, indoors.’
PRONUNCIATION: Funny.
Overpacking: Less is more – or more is less?
Pay regularly for an extra case? Pat yourself on the back. Slinging your clothes in a backpack just to avoid airline fees is cheap in every way, says Windsor. “Put a woman in a divine dress, or a man in a wow suit, and they will behave beautifully.” And there’s another bonus: ‘When you dress well, in my experience, you also often get bumped.’
EXCLUSIVE: Tasteful.
Sharing on Social Events: Insta-Magic or Tragic Delight?
Remember those in the 80s who set up home projectors to unleash 100 vacation photos on you? Now they update in real time on social media, says Windsor. “Don’t be that person.” A good snap should serve as a reminder of happy times as the years roll by, not an online pleasure.
VERDICT: Funny.
Airport tipples: Passé or pass the rosé?
You might as well declare your nationality, Windsor thinks – and not in a positive way. ‘Brits have such a bad reputation abroad and it doesn’t help to have 8am pints at the airport.’ On the ground, drink like the locals do. In Italy one would imbibe an early evening aperitivo, but not the over-lit Aperol Spritz – have a Crodino (a non-alcoholic version) instead.
VERDICT: Funny.
Tourist Menus: Great Value or Horrible Gastronomy?
Do you like a menu you can understand? Stay home, our expert wasps. Raised travelers fight at tourist restaurants – and you should too. Learn some tidbits in the language before your trip, eat where the locals eat and chat with the waiter about dishes. The ultimate culinary sin? Ordering a ‘spag bol’ in Italy is beyond bald. Says Windsor: ‘It’s simply not Italian food.’
VERDICT: Funny.
laurawindsoretiquette.com
