A few years ago, I attended my friend Nick’s 40th birthday party.
As part of the celebration, he hired an improvised comedian, and we everyone should participate in learning improvisational comedy.
(I just felt the collective chill of all the introverts reading this newsletter).
We started throwing scenarios and funny scenes to participate, and we learned about the most important rule of Improv: “Yes and”.
Two simple words, and the foundation for all improvised comedy:
Whenever someone comes up with a scene, phrase or situation, the ONLY acceptable answer is: “yes and”
- Yes: acceptance! Accept and recognize that whatever the situation is, no matter how absurd, it is true.
- And: build! Just like a tennis match, after your partner suddenly hits you with the ball, your job is to catch it! Building on the situation or scene.
For example, if your improv partner says, “I’m a space pirate,” your response might be:
- “Yes, and I’m the space police, you’re under arrest!”
- “Yeah, and I’m a first mate looking for a new crew, this is perfect!”
- “Yes, and my name is Captain Hook, welcome to Pirates Anonymous.”
The “yes and” rule is so crucial, because there’s nothing worse than a bad improv partner!
Kinda like Liam Neeson in .this short sketch. with Ricky Gervais, (I laugh every time):
Yes is the rule for life
As a former “gifted child” who has a lot of negative inner critic, I work hard to incorporate “yes and” in my life.
The “yes” part is built around acceptance, which is something I’ve spent the last two years working to embrace.
Check out my past essays .Acceptance. and .Wabi Sabi. for more.
It’s the “and” part that I’ve been focusing on lately.
As Dr. Kristen Neff points out in her book .Self-compassion.life is complex and so are humans:
“Judgment defines people as bad versus good and tries to capture their essential nature with simplistic labels.
Discriminating wisdom recognizes complexity and ambiguity.”
Nothing is ever as simple as it seems. Things are never as good or bad as our brain thinks they are.
Therefore, despite the voice in our heads that wants to judge everything in black or white, yes or no, good or bad… We must remember that life is a beautifully complicated mess.
Author F. Scott Fitzgerald once said:
The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in the mind at the same time, and still maintain the ability to function.
One must, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to do otherwise.
This is my task for you today.
Is there a part of your life that feels black or white, and instead could use some complexity?
Nothing is as simple as it seems.
Life is hard, and change is hard. And you are a good person who tries.
Which means there is hope. And .hope is the warrior’s emotion..
Also, please go watch this .A Liam Neeson scene..
You welcome.
– Steve
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