There’s a good chance you’ve already heard of a white elephant gift exchange, even if you have yet to participate or know where the tradition originated. According to legend, the king of Siam gave a white elephant to the courtiers who had upset them rather than have them executed. But this was a much more subtle punishment. The recipient had no choice but to accept the opulent gift with gratitude, even though he knew he could not afford the upkeep of such an animal. Inevitably, this would lead to financial ruin.
This story is almost certainly false, but it led to a modern holiday classic: the white elephant gift exchange. Choosing the right white elephant gift means walking a fine line: the goal isn’t to simply buy something terrible and have someone take it home. Rather, it should simply be useful or entertaining enough not to be immediately thrown in the trash. So here are some tips that will not only make you laugh, but will also make the recipient feel (slightly) burdened.
KFC/Enviro-Log
The best white elephant gifts are the ones that create a bit of intrigue as soon as they enter the gift pile. And a full-sized 4.3-pound log wrapped in Christmas paper is impossible Not note. It will almost certainly dwarf every other gift up for grabs and spark endless questions and speculation about what might be in the strange, surprisingly heavy box.
The fact that the comically large box contains a KFC fried chicken flavored fire log it makes the whole gag even funnier. I have a gas fireplace at home, so unfortunately, I have no idea what the KFC 11 Herb and Spice Strain actually smells like. Many online reviews say it smells “exactly” like the inside of a KFC. Whether or not this appeals to you probably depends on your affinity for the Colonel. But I can’t think of a more delightful gift to give to someone who really wanted to see what was inside that big, heavy box. – Karissa Bell, senior reporter
Dedicate onself
THE Banana phone it’s exactly what you’d expect it to be: a banana that’s also a phone. It may not have a SIM card or service plan attached, but your recipient can pair it with their smartphone via Bluetooth so they can ditch that tired $1,000+ phone and start receiving calls the right way, with one piece of fruit. In addition to receiving and making calls, they will also be able to use the Banana Phone with the Google Assistant and Siri, to ask about the weather or tell it to “Play Cruel Summer by Bananarama”. Yes, the Banana Phone also works as a Bluetooth speaker and has a range of 30 feet, so it can play tunes whenever you’re not using it to conduct official business. — Valentina Palladino, Deputy Director
Hours
If the goal of a White Elephant gift is to be a low-key form of torture, then… Alarm clock on wheels it may be the greatest White Elephant gift of all time. (Well, except for those weirdos who wake up at 4:30 every day with bright eyes and bushy tails.) It’s an alarm clock that, if your recipient tries to hit the snooze button, runs away while still ringing, telling them in no uncertain terms that it’s time to get up. And every morning they get out of bed, sleepy, cursing your name. – Terrence O’Brien, former managing editor
Aimeizi
Who wouldn’t want their living room to feel like a galaxy far, far away? Your recipient may have to fight their young children (or others in your gift exchange) for this galactic projectorwhich projects different light effects onto the ceiling with adjustable brightness and speed. They can use it to create the perfect atmosphere for their next Star Wars binge-watching party or to fall asleep soothingly every night. In addition to the included remote and a companion app, the projector also has a timer so they can set it to turn off just as they fall asleep. The mobile app will let them customize all aspects of their personal space field, from the nebula and twinkle effects, to the swirling colors, to the music that matches it (yes, there’s even a built-in speaker). Forget about those boring old men smart light bulbs – This galactic projector is the smart device that will improve anyone’s home environment. —VP
ChopSabers
Is there really any point in sushi or noodle night if you don’t consume your food with Force-protected utensils? No. The answer is no. These lightsaber wands they light up in different colors with the push of a button and come with batteries included so your giftee can start protecting their dishes from evil forces. Sure, they’ll be a hit among Star Wars fanatics, but anyone can find joy in an extra-powerful pair of chopsticks with which to have impromptu “food fights” between bites of sashimi. —VP
Apple
So maybe your recipient could easily throw it in the junk drawer, but we don’t think they’ll want it. Stupid ridiculously priced Apple polishing cloth it might actually be a white elephant gift that people would like to receive. Is it excessive for what it is? Probably. Is it useful for just about anyone, since we all have dozens of screens, large and small, in our lives now? Decidedly. Apparently many people saw the usefulness of this thing as there were weeks of waiting to get it back was first released in 2021. Now, thankfully, it’s more readily available, which might be the most important thing for you if you find yourself wandering the mall or scouring Amazon trying to find the perfect white elephant gift. —VP
MMX
Real life guns are crap, unless the ammo is sugar based. THE Marshmallow MMX crossbow it shoots “slightly dried” marshmallows up to 60 feet, so think of it as a much tastier version of a Nerf gun. Imagine: a person with this crossbow and a bag of Jet Puffed can deliver sugar bombs to everyone in the room without even getting off the couch. If that’s not a fairytale vacation scenario, I don’t know what is. The launcher itself is exquisitely crafted: made of copper, aluminum, natural rubber, and North American hardwood, and each is crafted and assembled by hand. In Canada, no less. — Amy Skorheim, journalist
White Elephant FAQ
What is the white elephant?
White Elephant Gift Exchange is a party game typically played during the holidays where people exchange fun and impractical gifts.
How does the white elephant work?
A group of people each bring a wrapped gift to the White Elephant Gift Exchange, and each gift is typically of similar value. All the gifts are then put together and the group decides the order in which each will claim a gift. The first person takes a white elephant gift from the pile, unwraps it, and their turn ends. Subsequent players can decide to unwrap another gift and claim it as their own, or steal a gift from someone who has already taken a turn. Rules can vary from there, including guidelines on how often a single item can be stolen: some say twice, at most. The game ends when each person receives a white elephant as a gift.
Why is it called a white elephant?
The term “white elephant” is said to derive from the legend of the King of Siam giving white elephants to courtiers who upset him. Although at first glance it seems like a lavish gift, the belief is that the courtiers would be ruined by the costs of maintaining the animal.
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