Capri, Florence or Rome for a bit of off-season Italian gliding. Sweden or Denmark for a touch of Scandi chic, perhaps.
Or maybe a splash of sunshine South Africa or distant adventure in Vietnam. Where you go on holiday can say a lot about who you are as a person.
What we add Keir Starmer and his choice of Madeira.
The remote Portuguese island in the Atlantic Ocean has plenty of charm, but it doesn’t exactly get the holiday pulse racing. The PM’s choice of holiday might just tell us something we already know deep down: he is perhaps a bit dull.
Here we look at what your choice of holiday destination reveals about your personality.
CORNWALL
WHO GOES THERE: David Cameron, Gordon Ramsay
Gordon Ramsay poses with his bike at his £4 million home in Cornwall
You like to think of yourself as down to earth and carrying around the salty scent of rock pools. But you are actually – dare we say? – a bit of a snob because the idea of a holiday in the Med with guaranteed sunshine is a bit, well out for the summer. But behind all the fine, back-to-basics idealism, there’s probably a babysitter in tow, and you’re renting an architect-designed holiday home (with hot tub) that costs far more than a Jet2 package on the Costa del Sol – or you own a multi-million pound beachfront mansion.
BALI
WHO’S GOING THERE: Brad Pitt, Mick Jagger, Nicole Kidman, Cameron Diaz, Taylor Swift
You have a wardrobe full of flowing, unstructured linens and talk about yourself in the third person (free spirit, social butterfly, inner goddess – you get the picture).
That’s why you choose Bali – you know it will be ‘life changing’. And even if it’s not, you’re not going to tell anyone else.
You love to be pampered, but dress it up with new-age justification—clink your crystals and roll out your yoga mat at any opportunity to release the healing vibes. Your idea of heaven is mojitos at sunset. And in the bleak reality of a British winter, you can be found playing tropical house beats to lift your mood.
Or having a coconut water and berry smoothie at your desk.
ABERSOCH, NORTH WALES
WHO’S GOING THERE: Wayne and Coleen Rooney, Kyle Walker and on/off wife
With a Cheshire-on-sea badge, you’re drawn to this smart corner of the Llyn Peninsula because you love the salty slap of your husband’s wetsuit and a dose of rustic scenery.
You like communality – albeit in the form of a luxury static campsite, complete with spa and a car park full of Range Rovers – and sitting on the balcony of your smart caravan, in denim shorts and expensive fleece, your children to watch (one called Infinity) ) master paddleboarding.
SWISS ALPS IN SUMMER
WHO GOES THERE: Theresa May
Theresa May walks in a forest with her husband Philip on a summer holiday in the Alps
Breathtaking Alpine landscapes, sparkling lakes, clean air… you value peace and a connection with nature.
You don’t need sophisticated entertainment. You are team Theresa when it comes to naughtiness – running or marching in long scratchy socks through the nearest field. On the other hand, you value punctuality, efficiency and cleanliness (you probably keep your card in a plastic folder).
TUSCANY
WHO’S GOING THERE: Gwyneth Paltrow, Julia Roberts
You are cool and complicated. So you enjoy a holiday where you can laze around in a rented farmhouse while sipping Chianti and enjoying the view. That’s because you see yourself as a deep thinker and like to jot down nuggets of brilliant observation in a notebook you bought at WHSmith in Gatwick.
You have a selection of sunrise yoga apps, and joke that one day you’ll come back to write your novel here.
MALDIVES
WHO’S GOING THERE: Paris Hilton, Cristiano Ronaldo
Paris Hilton relaxes by the sea on a trip to the Maldives
You are a dreamer – one who believes that paradise must be seen to be enjoyed.
You want nothing more than to relax in your own tanned skin, oversized sunglasses on your nose and always within reach of the latest Jodi Picoult.
But the truth is, you don’t want to be so disconnected from the world, because all those snow-white beaches have a lot of “likes” on Instagram.
DUBAI
WHO’S GOING THERE: Justin Bieber, Demi Lovato
You’ve worked hard for your money and you want sunshine, high energy and a place to enjoy the fancy designer bikinis found in the fag end of the Selfridges sale. You’re not fussing about authenticity – given all that imported sand is as fake as a WAG’s embone tip.
MIAMI
WHO’S GOING THERE: Beyonce, Madonna, Tom Cruise
Turn up the volume because you’re someone who wants all five senses to feel fully alive.
Most likely, you keep a stock of canned, ready-mixed cocktails in the house. You love – love! – bling, drama, noise and indulge your inner celebrity by wearing sunglasses even when the weather is bad and you’re just going to Sainsburys.
Life, you tell anyone who will listen, is to live.
SCOTTISH HIGHLANDS
WHO’S GOING THERE: Kate Winslet, Richard Branson
Ever since Paul McCartney retreated to the Mull of Kintyre after the Beatles broke up, the Highlands have drawn you in as a place to retreat and recharge. You don’t mind a clammy red nose or drizzle-frizzy hair – an antidote to the social mores and sartorial restrictions of your real life. It’s a dream to shake off commercialism, connect with yourself and disconnect from WhatsApp.
SOUTH OF FRANCE
WHO’S GOING THERE: Brooklyn Beckham, Kate Moss, Leonardo DiCaprio
Kate Moss enjoys an ice cream while on holiday in Saint-Paul-de-Vence, near Nice
Although you want a beach getaway, you’re a cut above the average sun seeker. Ditch the lobster-pink Brits in Torremolinos for a place to hang out in small towns, before returning to your charming but poorly air-conditioned country holiday home to prepare baguettes and wheels of mozzarella by the pool. You like being native, and dust off sixth-form French to try and fit in with the locals.
ROME
WHO’S GOING THERE: George and Amal Clooney, Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts
Busy, busy, busy: you fly from work meetings to the gym, from parents’ night to book club. Then complain there isn’t enough time in the day before you squeeze in a super quick drink with the girls from Pilates.
But that’s okay because you’re a monster if you don’t do anything, so you choose a city break like Rome. You are a skilled negotiator, offering bribes of ice cream/pizza to grieving members of your party so that you can actually see the Colosseum.
AND FINALLY… MADEIRA
WHO GOES THERE: Keir Starmer
It is so easy for you to book a trip to Madeira as you have done it before. Many times.
Truth be told, you’re not the adventurous type. Since there isn’t that much to see or do. Keir Starmer’s naughty rope jump for the tow ride was the most exciting thing to happen on Madeira in years.
But that doesn’t bother you – you celebrate routine, embracing the dull reassurance of a return trip to the same hotel year after year.
